Ever feel like skating away from it all at this time of year? Joni Mitchell captures the sentiments of the season in this beautiful song. Here's a link to her singing it and the lyrics are below - River by Joni Mitchell
Enjoy... May you be well this Christmas and on into 2012.
River
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
Oh, I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
© 1970; Joni Mitchell
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Silence
Silence... do you love it or hate it? Either way it's an interesting topic to consider since we are all certain to encounter it during our lives.
The dictionary definition of silence talks about the absence of sound; stillness; a time without speech or noise or a refusal or failure to speak out - so it seems there are many types of silence. We cannot assume that silence means stillness and peacefulness. Can you remember a time when you were annoyed but knew it was the right thing to do to be silent?
It seeems that many people choose against everyday opportunities for silence. Look around next time you take the bus and see how many people around you are plugged in to some kind of electronic gadget. Do you turn on the radio or tv or play music as a habit rather than when you want to listen to it. What is the effect of this on you?
The amsusing part of this level of distraction is that so many holiday destinations are marketed on the basis of their tranquil or peaceful locations, undisturbed beaches and so on. Yet we can have this traquility for free by switching off the noise around us. We can always switch it back on again, but in the meantime do you ever wonder what your experience of silence is really like?
I would be interested to know how you get on if you decide to experiment with this. Let me know and maybe we can develop your experiences in further articles. Contact me in confidence at info@psyche.ie or via the contact page on my website at www.psyche.ie
The dictionary definition of silence talks about the absence of sound; stillness; a time without speech or noise or a refusal or failure to speak out - so it seems there are many types of silence. We cannot assume that silence means stillness and peacefulness. Can you remember a time when you were annoyed but knew it was the right thing to do to be silent?
It seeems that many people choose against everyday opportunities for silence. Look around next time you take the bus and see how many people around you are plugged in to some kind of electronic gadget. Do you turn on the radio or tv or play music as a habit rather than when you want to listen to it. What is the effect of this on you?
The amsusing part of this level of distraction is that so many holiday destinations are marketed on the basis of their tranquil or peaceful locations, undisturbed beaches and so on. Yet we can have this traquility for free by switching off the noise around us. We can always switch it back on again, but in the meantime do you ever wonder what your experience of silence is really like?
I would be interested to know how you get on if you decide to experiment with this. Let me know and maybe we can develop your experiences in further articles. Contact me in confidence at info@psyche.ie or via the contact page on my website at www.psyche.ie
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Meditation
There are many approaches to meditation. One is not necessarily better or worse than another, it really seems to depend on what appeals to the person in question.
Having said that, I first came across meditation through my training as a yoga teacher in the late eighties, and have since been exposed to a variety of approaches to meditation mainly from an Eastern perspective.
What has struck me in recent years is an increasing number of comments from students of meditation wondering if there are any accessible Christian schools of meditation. Of the few I have come across, I am quite taken with what is known as 'Contemplative Prayer,'run by an organisation called Contemplative Outreach.
The histories of the Christian contemplative tradition, Centering Prayer, and Contemplative Outreach are intimately intertwined. Contemplative Outreach was formed to renew the Christian contemplative heritage through sharing the method of Centering Prayer to all who wish to learn.
If you are interested in experiencing this method mail me at info@psyche.ie.
I hope to hold an information talk for all who are interested before the end of the year in Castlepollard, Co. Westmeath. See my website www.psyche.ie which is about Offering Support in Challenging Times.
Having said that, I first came across meditation through my training as a yoga teacher in the late eighties, and have since been exposed to a variety of approaches to meditation mainly from an Eastern perspective.
What has struck me in recent years is an increasing number of comments from students of meditation wondering if there are any accessible Christian schools of meditation. Of the few I have come across, I am quite taken with what is known as 'Contemplative Prayer,'run by an organisation called Contemplative Outreach.
The histories of the Christian contemplative tradition, Centering Prayer, and Contemplative Outreach are intimately intertwined. Contemplative Outreach was formed to renew the Christian contemplative heritage through sharing the method of Centering Prayer to all who wish to learn.
If you are interested in experiencing this method mail me at info@psyche.ie.
I hope to hold an information talk for all who are interested before the end of the year in Castlepollard, Co. Westmeath. See my website www.psyche.ie which is about Offering Support in Challenging Times.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Remembering
Remembering is a topical theme today as the world remembers the great loss of life that took place in the United States of America ten years ago today, on the 11th September, 2001.
As the newspapers, radio, television and social media remember this great public loss of life, maybe we could also remember the many private losses that are all around us and also deserve to be remembered.
Remembering our losses - whether big or small,and retelling our stories helps us to come to terms with loss. By acknowledging our loss and coming to accept the reality of the particular loss we can begin the grieving process. There is no set grieving format. Everybody will do it differently. What seems to be consistent is the range of confused feelings people experience, the anger, the sadness, the many unanswered questions, the physical pain at the absence of your loved one.
Death is not the only cause of loss. Relationship / family breakdown can result in a series of losses in relationship where the person concerned is still alive, maybe now living with someone else, where children have to bear the loss of one or both parents in new relationships where they are no longer at the centre of the family unit.
Another group that have suffered great pain because they have largely been forgotten are those people who have spent their lives in mental institutions. Fortunately their stories have recently begun to be remembered by the recent 'Behind the Walls' documentary on RTE television. They certainly deserve to be remembered.
For some the loss of a pet is a great tragedy. Maybe that beloved pet was the only living creature who knew them intimately and responded to them on a regular basis.
Loss of health, of youth, of interest in life, of work, are some other examples and there are as many more. So as you remember today - maybe allow yourself to acknowledge the full range of losses you and those close to you have experienced. So together we can begin to allow ourselves to grieve and to heal.
It is just like a wound with a thorn in it. It hurts to pull out the thorn. It will likely bleed and seem worse at first. When really this initial hurt and pain is necessary for the wound to heal.
As we remember our different losses together - know you are not alone - many around the world are grieving their losses - this is healthy and natural - so maybe we can allow nature to do it's job and trust our innate wisdom.
Call me if you have any comments or questions on 353-86-8545407 or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie. For more check out my website at www.psyche.ie
As the newspapers, radio, television and social media remember this great public loss of life, maybe we could also remember the many private losses that are all around us and also deserve to be remembered.
Remembering our losses - whether big or small,and retelling our stories helps us to come to terms with loss. By acknowledging our loss and coming to accept the reality of the particular loss we can begin the grieving process. There is no set grieving format. Everybody will do it differently. What seems to be consistent is the range of confused feelings people experience, the anger, the sadness, the many unanswered questions, the physical pain at the absence of your loved one.
Death is not the only cause of loss. Relationship / family breakdown can result in a series of losses in relationship where the person concerned is still alive, maybe now living with someone else, where children have to bear the loss of one or both parents in new relationships where they are no longer at the centre of the family unit.
Another group that have suffered great pain because they have largely been forgotten are those people who have spent their lives in mental institutions. Fortunately their stories have recently begun to be remembered by the recent 'Behind the Walls' documentary on RTE television. They certainly deserve to be remembered.
For some the loss of a pet is a great tragedy. Maybe that beloved pet was the only living creature who knew them intimately and responded to them on a regular basis.
Loss of health, of youth, of interest in life, of work, are some other examples and there are as many more. So as you remember today - maybe allow yourself to acknowledge the full range of losses you and those close to you have experienced. So together we can begin to allow ourselves to grieve and to heal.
It is just like a wound with a thorn in it. It hurts to pull out the thorn. It will likely bleed and seem worse at first. When really this initial hurt and pain is necessary for the wound to heal.
As we remember our different losses together - know you are not alone - many around the world are grieving their losses - this is healthy and natural - so maybe we can allow nature to do it's job and trust our innate wisdom.
Call me if you have any comments or questions on 353-86-8545407 or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie. For more check out my website at www.psyche.ie
Monday, August 15, 2011
Holiday Time
Do you take holidays? If so what do they mean to you?
August is holiday time - this would appear to be an established fact nowadays - everywhere you ring these days the reply is to call back in September. But does everybody really take holidays? What do holidays really mean?
My limited impression of holidays is from an observers view of the comments people make about their holidays. Here are some of the most frequent ones:-
'Can't wait till the holidays - best two weeks of the year.'
'Can't afford holidays but am going to get a loan and go anyway.'
'Hate going back to work after my holidays.'
The dictionary defines a holiday as 'A day free from work that one may spend at leisure.' 'A religious feast day; a holy day.' It is interesting that the word 'holiday' comes from holy-day which, for those who went to religious schools in Ireland, meant a day off school.
Since we can no longer take Sunday for granted as a weekly 'holiday' or 'holy-day' maybe it is time to re-think our concept of 'holiday.' Whether holy or not, the idea of a day of rest or leisure per week sounds like a healthy one. There is a nice rhythm to it and results in a ratio of 6:1 or 16.6% leisure. By comparison two weeks holiday a year is a ratio of 365:14 or 3.83%. In contrast to just having every Sunday free this does not sound like a very good deal!
Numbers are great to make things crystal clear. We could say we have been misled by the massive focus on the annual summer holiday. So what can we do about it. My suggestion is to think first. 'Why?' You might rightly ask. Well if we take it in stages you will see.
Rest and leisure - yes we all need this. But first it is worthwhile to think and figure out how much rest do you need per week / month / year to unwind in a healthy way and return refreshed to resume your lifes work - regardless of whether you are employed or not.
It seems to be different for everyone - what is rest for one can be stressful for another. So there is no one 'holiday' that will suit everyone. Some enjoy having the chance to spend some leisure time at home, and this does not necessarily mean doing nothing. Many people get great satisfaction and enjoyment from gardening for example. Others may see this as hard labour.
These simple examples hopefully will get your thinking started with the overall aim to help you to discover what is restful and refreshing to you in particular. When you find this out the next step is to try it to see how you respond to your personalised 'holiday' prescription - does it work for you. If not, try out some of your other ideas till you find what suits you best.
When you do - what about making it a regular slot in your week - and aim for the old ratio of 6:1 to see if this is worthwhile for you. Whichever you choose I hope you enjoy your discovery.
I welcome your comments or quesitons in confidence to info@psyche.ie or call me on 353-86-8545407.
August is holiday time - this would appear to be an established fact nowadays - everywhere you ring these days the reply is to call back in September. But does everybody really take holidays? What do holidays really mean?
My limited impression of holidays is from an observers view of the comments people make about their holidays. Here are some of the most frequent ones:-
'Can't wait till the holidays - best two weeks of the year.'
'Can't afford holidays but am going to get a loan and go anyway.'
'Hate going back to work after my holidays.'
The dictionary defines a holiday as 'A day free from work that one may spend at leisure.' 'A religious feast day; a holy day.' It is interesting that the word 'holiday' comes from holy-day which, for those who went to religious schools in Ireland, meant a day off school.
Since we can no longer take Sunday for granted as a weekly 'holiday' or 'holy-day' maybe it is time to re-think our concept of 'holiday.' Whether holy or not, the idea of a day of rest or leisure per week sounds like a healthy one. There is a nice rhythm to it and results in a ratio of 6:1 or 16.6% leisure. By comparison two weeks holiday a year is a ratio of 365:14 or 3.83%. In contrast to just having every Sunday free this does not sound like a very good deal!
Numbers are great to make things crystal clear. We could say we have been misled by the massive focus on the annual summer holiday. So what can we do about it. My suggestion is to think first. 'Why?' You might rightly ask. Well if we take it in stages you will see.
Rest and leisure - yes we all need this. But first it is worthwhile to think and figure out how much rest do you need per week / month / year to unwind in a healthy way and return refreshed to resume your lifes work - regardless of whether you are employed or not.
It seems to be different for everyone - what is rest for one can be stressful for another. So there is no one 'holiday' that will suit everyone. Some enjoy having the chance to spend some leisure time at home, and this does not necessarily mean doing nothing. Many people get great satisfaction and enjoyment from gardening for example. Others may see this as hard labour.
These simple examples hopefully will get your thinking started with the overall aim to help you to discover what is restful and refreshing to you in particular. When you find this out the next step is to try it to see how you respond to your personalised 'holiday' prescription - does it work for you. If not, try out some of your other ideas till you find what suits you best.
When you do - what about making it a regular slot in your week - and aim for the old ratio of 6:1 to see if this is worthwhile for you. Whichever you choose I hope you enjoy your discovery.
I welcome your comments or quesitons in confidence to info@psyche.ie or call me on 353-86-8545407.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Psychotherapy and Mid-Life
Have you heard of the mid-life crisis? Maybe you have been told you are having one? Well what if that so called crisis was the most wonderful opportunity of your life?
The experience of what has become known as a mid-life crisis is often recognised by what can seem like a sudden dissatisfaction with life. This can be even more distressing for those who are successful in the material sense, they often say 'I have everything but feel like I have nothing!'
While we are familiar with stories about the effects of the menopause on women and the associated biological changes, the deeper questions and feelings of emptiness can often be dismissed as a hormonal imbalance. The challenging questions that arise in mid-life are not gender specific - they are simply part of the human condition. The question is 'how or where can we pause to deal with whatever is emerging?'
Carl Jung, the famous psychoanalyst, viewed the afternoon of life as an invitation to move from living on surface by diving deeper and addressing the unfulfilled life - where our socialised self causes us to become split from our true inner nature. 'Who am I if I am not my socialised self... ?' can be an interesting question that can open a pathway to our true depth.
Psychotherapy is an opportunity to explore these questions with the support of a skilled professional. The benefit of having a trained eye and ear to accompany you, is that they can provide a map of the unfamiliar territory you find yourself in. Unconscious material often becomes more active during a time of intense questioning and may leave you thinking there is something wrong with you - for example wild, weird, and wonderful dreams may start to happen. These can provide tremendous therapeutic opportunites with the right kind of support.
In summary, mid-life questions are natural and healthy. They deserve to be heard. Maybe the word menopause is giving us a hint? It is a time to take time, pause, and reflect.
You are welcome to contact me with any further questions you may have on 086 8545407, via my website www.psyche.ie, or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie
The experience of what has become known as a mid-life crisis is often recognised by what can seem like a sudden dissatisfaction with life. This can be even more distressing for those who are successful in the material sense, they often say 'I have everything but feel like I have nothing!'
While we are familiar with stories about the effects of the menopause on women and the associated biological changes, the deeper questions and feelings of emptiness can often be dismissed as a hormonal imbalance. The challenging questions that arise in mid-life are not gender specific - they are simply part of the human condition. The question is 'how or where can we pause to deal with whatever is emerging?'
Carl Jung, the famous psychoanalyst, viewed the afternoon of life as an invitation to move from living on surface by diving deeper and addressing the unfulfilled life - where our socialised self causes us to become split from our true inner nature. 'Who am I if I am not my socialised self... ?' can be an interesting question that can open a pathway to our true depth.
Psychotherapy is an opportunity to explore these questions with the support of a skilled professional. The benefit of having a trained eye and ear to accompany you, is that they can provide a map of the unfamiliar territory you find yourself in. Unconscious material often becomes more active during a time of intense questioning and may leave you thinking there is something wrong with you - for example wild, weird, and wonderful dreams may start to happen. These can provide tremendous therapeutic opportunites with the right kind of support.
In summary, mid-life questions are natural and healthy. They deserve to be heard. Maybe the word menopause is giving us a hint? It is a time to take time, pause, and reflect.
You are welcome to contact me with any further questions you may have on 086 8545407, via my website www.psyche.ie, or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Personal Boundaries
What are personal boundaries? They are the invisible dividing line between ourselves and another. We often only notice them when someone that we haven't invited, comes too close. We use boundaries to determine the appropriate degree of interaction with another.
A healthy boundary protects our personal space yet allows healthy realting to take place. A boundary does not cut us off from others. A boundary is like a gate - we can open it to let appropriate people in, and keep it closed to keep others on their side of the fence.
There are endless possible variations to personal boundaries. It depends on how we are, and what we need. So our boundary will move and change just as we do. A boundary is an organic dynamic structure and not at all fixed. See for yourself by noticing how you are when a complete stranger sits next to you on a bus. With some you may be relaxed and open, and with others you may find yourself becoming tight and rigid.
It is an interesting exercise to notice your boundary. Even though you may not have been particularly aware of them before. It may surprise you how it has been operating without your assistance. By noticing how a boundary can work to your benefit it will become clear if it needs adjustment in any way. Notice the variations depending on where you are, what you are doing or who you are with.
Just like a good garden a good boundary requires care and attention. The work involved is well worth the effort to enhance physical, emotional and spiritual health.
Comments or quesitons are welcome in confidence to info@psyche.ie or via the contacts page of my website www.psyche.ie
A healthy boundary protects our personal space yet allows healthy realting to take place. A boundary does not cut us off from others. A boundary is like a gate - we can open it to let appropriate people in, and keep it closed to keep others on their side of the fence.
There are endless possible variations to personal boundaries. It depends on how we are, and what we need. So our boundary will move and change just as we do. A boundary is an organic dynamic structure and not at all fixed. See for yourself by noticing how you are when a complete stranger sits next to you on a bus. With some you may be relaxed and open, and with others you may find yourself becoming tight and rigid.
It is an interesting exercise to notice your boundary. Even though you may not have been particularly aware of them before. It may surprise you how it has been operating without your assistance. By noticing how a boundary can work to your benefit it will become clear if it needs adjustment in any way. Notice the variations depending on where you are, what you are doing or who you are with.
Just like a good garden a good boundary requires care and attention. The work involved is well worth the effort to enhance physical, emotional and spiritual health.
Comments or quesitons are welcome in confidence to info@psyche.ie or via the contacts page of my website www.psyche.ie
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The Inner Journey
Are you familiar with the still small voice within you that guides and directs you when you least expect it? Learning to recognise and listen to our personal inner guidance is generally referred to as the 'Inner Journey.' However the term 'Inner Journey' can be used to refer to many things - so next time you hear it used - ask for clarification on precisely what is meant by the term.
For today I am referring to the Tibetan idea that 'Signs from the Soul come silently, as silently as the sun enters the darkened world.' We must still ourselves and listen, so that we do not miss too much. This comes from an old book about meditation published in 1969. While times may have changed, this principle is still relevant today.
It can take a more deliberate effort to become still in today's world. There is a lot of noise and distraction outside and inside our heads most of the time. The practice of being still takes a deliberate effort. It is simple but not always easy. The advantage is, it is free and completely within our control.
If the idea of some still quiet time appeals to you, following the SMART goal guidelines may be useful to support you to begin and maintain any new routine. Saying 'I would love some quiet time' is a little too vague to bring about any actual change. See what difference applying the SMART goal guidelines makes to your plan to have some quiet time every day.
S = specific eg. 'take some quiet time each morning and evening'
M = measurable eg. '5 minutes before I leave my room in the morning, and 5 minutes when I return to my room at night, starting tomorrow.'
A = achievable 'is the goal I have set achievable?'
R = reasistic 'is the goal realistic?'
T = timeframe 'does the goal fit into a given timeframe?'
Applying these simple steps can help make any goal you set become a reality.
I welcome your feedback by hearing your thoughts, comments or questions in confidence to info@psyche.ie or via the contacts page of my website www.psyche.ie.
For today I am referring to the Tibetan idea that 'Signs from the Soul come silently, as silently as the sun enters the darkened world.' We must still ourselves and listen, so that we do not miss too much. This comes from an old book about meditation published in 1969. While times may have changed, this principle is still relevant today.
It can take a more deliberate effort to become still in today's world. There is a lot of noise and distraction outside and inside our heads most of the time. The practice of being still takes a deliberate effort. It is simple but not always easy. The advantage is, it is free and completely within our control.
If the idea of some still quiet time appeals to you, following the SMART goal guidelines may be useful to support you to begin and maintain any new routine. Saying 'I would love some quiet time' is a little too vague to bring about any actual change. See what difference applying the SMART goal guidelines makes to your plan to have some quiet time every day.
S = specific eg. 'take some quiet time each morning and evening'
M = measurable eg. '5 minutes before I leave my room in the morning, and 5 minutes when I return to my room at night, starting tomorrow.'
A = achievable 'is the goal I have set achievable?'
R = reasistic 'is the goal realistic?'
T = timeframe 'does the goal fit into a given timeframe?'
Applying these simple steps can help make any goal you set become a reality.
I welcome your feedback by hearing your thoughts, comments or questions in confidence to info@psyche.ie or via the contacts page of my website www.psyche.ie.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Synchronicity
Ever find yourself saying ‘what a coincidence!’ Ever go to phone someone but before you dial the number the phone rings and guess who is on the other end? Yes, the person you were just about to call.
Carl G Jung the famous Swiss psychoanalyst coined the term synchronicity for what we commonly refer to as coincidence. There are many wild and wonderful theories which try to explain the phenomenon but my focus today is on another aspect, that of our intimate inner life and how it can help or hinder us.
Coincidence or synchronicity ‘so what?’ you may ask. In reply Jung would likely argue with you that what happens to us in the external world reflects what is going on in the internal world. An everyday example of this is when we are in a good mood things seem to work like clockwork. One example of this is when we go to the shops and there is a free parking space right outside. When we are in a bad mood and head for the shops maybe we can’t find the keys and when we do the car has a puncture or is out of petrol.
Jung was dedicated to the cause of exploring the inner life. Because the inner life is not so easy to access we need to notice the signposts in our everyday life that point to it such as synchronicities, dreams and symbols. Studying our culture and mythology is another way of looking at it from a wider perspective. This quest can also be seen as a search for the soul – an ever deepening spiritual quest.
What use is this information in 2011? The answer is different for each person. For some the idea of looking within is not an option. Others are sceptical. Others are curious. My invitation is to be open, curious and sceptical and notice what is going on around you in your life.
Then what? Notice the themes that emerge. Do things flow easily for you? Or is everything a big deal? Do you feel stuck most of the time without knowing why? How long have these themes been repeating themselves in your life? What does this say to you?
These are some simple everyday examples of how our inner world tries to communicate with us but most of the time we are too busy to notice. If we do take the time and effort to pay attention to the still small voice within it is important that we do not use the insight we gain as a stick to beat ourselves up with. The challenge is to hear what it has to say to us as a challenge to learn more about ourselves in a way that allows us to celebrate and utilise the gifts and talents we bring to the world.
As always I encourage you to not believe a word I say but to put these ideas to the test and see what you find out. Let me know how you get on – I welcome your feedback by hearing your thoughts, comments or questions in confidence to info@psyche.ie or via the contacts page of my website www.psyche.ie.
Carl G Jung the famous Swiss psychoanalyst coined the term synchronicity for what we commonly refer to as coincidence. There are many wild and wonderful theories which try to explain the phenomenon but my focus today is on another aspect, that of our intimate inner life and how it can help or hinder us.
Coincidence or synchronicity ‘so what?’ you may ask. In reply Jung would likely argue with you that what happens to us in the external world reflects what is going on in the internal world. An everyday example of this is when we are in a good mood things seem to work like clockwork. One example of this is when we go to the shops and there is a free parking space right outside. When we are in a bad mood and head for the shops maybe we can’t find the keys and when we do the car has a puncture or is out of petrol.
Jung was dedicated to the cause of exploring the inner life. Because the inner life is not so easy to access we need to notice the signposts in our everyday life that point to it such as synchronicities, dreams and symbols. Studying our culture and mythology is another way of looking at it from a wider perspective. This quest can also be seen as a search for the soul – an ever deepening spiritual quest.
What use is this information in 2011? The answer is different for each person. For some the idea of looking within is not an option. Others are sceptical. Others are curious. My invitation is to be open, curious and sceptical and notice what is going on around you in your life.
Then what? Notice the themes that emerge. Do things flow easily for you? Or is everything a big deal? Do you feel stuck most of the time without knowing why? How long have these themes been repeating themselves in your life? What does this say to you?
These are some simple everyday examples of how our inner world tries to communicate with us but most of the time we are too busy to notice. If we do take the time and effort to pay attention to the still small voice within it is important that we do not use the insight we gain as a stick to beat ourselves up with. The challenge is to hear what it has to say to us as a challenge to learn more about ourselves in a way that allows us to celebrate and utilise the gifts and talents we bring to the world.
As always I encourage you to not believe a word I say but to put these ideas to the test and see what you find out. Let me know how you get on – I welcome your feedback by hearing your thoughts, comments or questions in confidence to info@psyche.ie or via the contacts page of my website www.psyche.ie.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Relationships
How do you rate your relationships? Do you see the same themes repeating over and over again? Ever find yourself wanting to avoid difficult relationships?
Welcome to humanity, what you are experiencing is great. Seriously. If you can answer these questions in any way you are noticing aspects of your relationship patterns. Noticing is a vital step. If a pipe bursts you can do nothing until you see it is burst. That is why I say it is great that you are noticing.
Then what? Some background first. Relationships are complex by nature . We come into this life through a relationship. When we first open our eyes we experience a relationship with another human being.
Every human contact from then on builds our patterns of relating - when to come closer, when to move away, how to protect ourselves from hurt, how to find love and so on. The list is endless. All patterns are shaped by our personal history and in that context they were perfect when we created them.
Fast forward to today and many patterns that got set up when we were very little have now become habits and can be hard to notice. Often we only recognise them when familiar patterns start to catch our attention. Maybe when tension arises in a relationship you move away? Or try and fix it? Possibly try and fix the other? Again the list is endless.
The point is that it is helpful for us to first notice our patterns. Then to see if they are effective for us. Identify what is not helpful and so something about it. That sounds much easier than it is. But we need a simple starting point. To read more about how our history shapes our patterns of relating Getting the Love you Want is a very helpful book to explain this in more detail.
Love is the essence of human experience. How we relate either opens us up to love or keeps us safe and closed to it. So understanding and being curious about our relationship patterns is a manageable stepping stone to the big topic of Love. Whether we seek love for ourselves, for another or for God the prinicple is the same. It sounds simple. It is not easy but is very worthwhile.
See how you go and I will be glad to answer any questions you may have. E-mail me at info@psyche.ie or phone/text me on 353 86 8545407. You can find out more about me and my work on my website www.psyche.ie I look forward to and welcome your feedback.
Welcome to humanity, what you are experiencing is great. Seriously. If you can answer these questions in any way you are noticing aspects of your relationship patterns. Noticing is a vital step. If a pipe bursts you can do nothing until you see it is burst. That is why I say it is great that you are noticing.
Then what? Some background first. Relationships are complex by nature . We come into this life through a relationship. When we first open our eyes we experience a relationship with another human being.
Every human contact from then on builds our patterns of relating - when to come closer, when to move away, how to protect ourselves from hurt, how to find love and so on. The list is endless. All patterns are shaped by our personal history and in that context they were perfect when we created them.
Fast forward to today and many patterns that got set up when we were very little have now become habits and can be hard to notice. Often we only recognise them when familiar patterns start to catch our attention. Maybe when tension arises in a relationship you move away? Or try and fix it? Possibly try and fix the other? Again the list is endless.
The point is that it is helpful for us to first notice our patterns. Then to see if they are effective for us. Identify what is not helpful and so something about it. That sounds much easier than it is. But we need a simple starting point. To read more about how our history shapes our patterns of relating Getting the Love you Want is a very helpful book to explain this in more detail.
Love is the essence of human experience. How we relate either opens us up to love or keeps us safe and closed to it. So understanding and being curious about our relationship patterns is a manageable stepping stone to the big topic of Love. Whether we seek love for ourselves, for another or for God the prinicple is the same. It sounds simple. It is not easy but is very worthwhile.
See how you go and I will be glad to answer any questions you may have. E-mail me at info@psyche.ie or phone/text me on 353 86 8545407. You can find out more about me and my work on my website www.psyche.ie I look forward to and welcome your feedback.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Ethics
Election fever is spreading in Ireland as the general election campaign to elect a new government begins. This time around is different to previous elections. People are speaking about standards and values, 'what kind of society do we want?' and 'what have each of the canditates to say about this?'
These issues come under the topic of ethics. The ancient Greek word for custom is ethos from which we get the word ‘ethics’ and the equivalent Latin word for custom is mores and gives us the word ‘morals.’ The words ‘moral’ and ‘ethical’ mean the same thing and are often used interchangeably.
The most notable early writer on ethics was Aristotle. Although he lived a long time ago, 384-322BC what he has to say is still very relevant. The key question in Aristotle’s famous book Ethics is not ‘what should I do?’ but rather ‘how should I live?’
The goal of ethics is practical; to identify the best way to live a good life. A good life is one which supports human flourishing. It is not a life devoted to the pursuit of pleasure.
If the pursuit of pleasure is not the answer then what is? Aristotle's aim was to encourage us to figure out our answer to that question. We can change how we think and act in the world. So can our politicians. Enjoy exercising your vote.
If you want support with an ethical issue or question I will be glad to help. Ring me on 086 8545407, e-mail me at info@psyche.ie or check out my website on www.psyche.ie
These issues come under the topic of ethics. The ancient Greek word for custom is ethos from which we get the word ‘ethics’ and the equivalent Latin word for custom is mores and gives us the word ‘morals.’ The words ‘moral’ and ‘ethical’ mean the same thing and are often used interchangeably.
The most notable early writer on ethics was Aristotle. Although he lived a long time ago, 384-322BC what he has to say is still very relevant. The key question in Aristotle’s famous book Ethics is not ‘what should I do?’ but rather ‘how should I live?’
The goal of ethics is practical; to identify the best way to live a good life. A good life is one which supports human flourishing. It is not a life devoted to the pursuit of pleasure.
If the pursuit of pleasure is not the answer then what is? Aristotle's aim was to encourage us to figure out our answer to that question. We can change how we think and act in the world. So can our politicians. Enjoy exercising your vote.
If you want support with an ethical issue or question I will be glad to help. Ring me on 086 8545407, e-mail me at info@psyche.ie or check out my website on www.psyche.ie
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The Good Life
Do you regularly ask yourself 'what should I do?' Maybe there is another question that we ought to ask ourselves first. It is 'how ought I live?' Thinking about this small question can make all the difference because living the good life holds the potential for happiness.
While we generally want to be happy and have a good life we rarely put time and effort into thinking what this means. The good life is not about following rules. It is about living in a way that supports our human development without causing harm. Happiness is the by product of living this way.
This challenge is put to us by Aristotle - the famous philosopher who was born in 384BC. His understanding of the human condition is such that the questions he asked so long ago can still benefit us in today's world. He is very clear that the good life is not a life devoted to the pursuit of pleasure.
Living a good life does not mean we spend our lives battling with our desires. We simply choose the right thing whatever the situation or circumstance. To do this we first need to know what kind of life we want. Taking action is what makes the difference and that is what the good life is all about.
This time of year is famous for making resolutions which are rarely kept. Another approach is to discover what a good life is for you? After that every choice you make will either support this way of life or reject it. Your choices can make all the difference.
For support in meeting this challenge I am available for one to one meetings or phone consultations.
My e-mail address is info@psyche.ie. and my website is www.psyche.ie
May 2011 be another stepping stone on your good life.
While we generally want to be happy and have a good life we rarely put time and effort into thinking what this means. The good life is not about following rules. It is about living in a way that supports our human development without causing harm. Happiness is the by product of living this way.
This challenge is put to us by Aristotle - the famous philosopher who was born in 384BC. His understanding of the human condition is such that the questions he asked so long ago can still benefit us in today's world. He is very clear that the good life is not a life devoted to the pursuit of pleasure.
Living a good life does not mean we spend our lives battling with our desires. We simply choose the right thing whatever the situation or circumstance. To do this we first need to know what kind of life we want. Taking action is what makes the difference and that is what the good life is all about.
This time of year is famous for making resolutions which are rarely kept. Another approach is to discover what a good life is for you? After that every choice you make will either support this way of life or reject it. Your choices can make all the difference.
For support in meeting this challenge I am available for one to one meetings or phone consultations.
My e-mail address is info@psyche.ie. and my website is www.psyche.ie
May 2011 be another stepping stone on your good life.
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