How do you rate your relationships? Do you see the same themes repeating over and over again? Ever find yourself wanting to avoid difficult relationships?
Welcome to humanity, what you are experiencing is great. Seriously. If you can answer these questions in any way you are noticing aspects of your relationship patterns. Noticing is a vital step. If a pipe bursts you can do nothing until you see it is burst. That is why I say it is great that you are noticing.
Then what? Some background first. Relationships are complex by nature . We come into this life through a relationship. When we first open our eyes we experience a relationship with another human being.
Every human contact from then on builds our patterns of relating - when to come closer, when to move away, how to protect ourselves from hurt, how to find love and so on. The list is endless. All patterns are shaped by our personal history and in that context they were perfect when we created them.
Fast forward to today and many patterns that got set up when we were very little have now become habits and can be hard to notice. Often we only recognise them when familiar patterns start to catch our attention. Maybe when tension arises in a relationship you move away? Or try and fix it? Possibly try and fix the other? Again the list is endless.
The point is that it is helpful for us to first notice our patterns. Then to see if they are effective for us. Identify what is not helpful and so something about it. That sounds much easier than it is. But we need a simple starting point. To read more about how our history shapes our patterns of relating Getting the Love you Want is a very helpful book to explain this in more detail.
Love is the essence of human experience. How we relate either opens us up to love or keeps us safe and closed to it. So understanding and being curious about our relationship patterns is a manageable stepping stone to the big topic of Love. Whether we seek love for ourselves, for another or for God the prinicple is the same. It sounds simple. It is not easy but is very worthwhile.
See how you go and I will be glad to answer any questions you may have. E-mail me at info@psyche.ie or phone/text me on 353 86 8545407. You can find out more about me and my work on my website www.psyche.ie I look forward to and welcome your feedback.
