Remembering is a topical theme today as the world remembers the great loss of life that took place in the United States of America ten years ago today, on the 11th September, 2001.
As the newspapers, radio, television and social media remember this great public loss of life, maybe we could also remember the many private losses that are all around us and also deserve to be remembered.
Remembering our losses - whether big or small,and retelling our stories helps us to come to terms with loss. By acknowledging our loss and coming to accept the reality of the particular loss we can begin the grieving process. There is no set grieving format. Everybody will do it differently. What seems to be consistent is the range of confused feelings people experience, the anger, the sadness, the many unanswered questions, the physical pain at the absence of your loved one.
Death is not the only cause of loss. Relationship / family breakdown can result in a series of losses in relationship where the person concerned is still alive, maybe now living with someone else, where children have to bear the loss of one or both parents in new relationships where they are no longer at the centre of the family unit.
Another group that have suffered great pain because they have largely been forgotten are those people who have spent their lives in mental institutions. Fortunately their stories have recently begun to be remembered by the recent 'Behind the Walls' documentary on RTE television. They certainly deserve to be remembered.
For some the loss of a pet is a great tragedy. Maybe that beloved pet was the only living creature who knew them intimately and responded to them on a regular basis.
Loss of health, of youth, of interest in life, of work, are some other examples and there are as many more. So as you remember today - maybe allow yourself to acknowledge the full range of losses you and those close to you have experienced. So together we can begin to allow ourselves to grieve and to heal.
It is just like a wound with a thorn in it. It hurts to pull out the thorn. It will likely bleed and seem worse at first. When really this initial hurt and pain is necessary for the wound to heal.
As we remember our different losses together - know you are not alone - many around the world are grieving their losses - this is healthy and natural - so maybe we can allow nature to do it's job and trust our innate wisdom.
Call me if you have any comments or questions on 353-86-8545407 or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie. For more check out my website at www.psyche.ie
