John McCarthy, founder of Mad Pride Ireland died earlier this week. May he rest in peace and may our thoughts and prayers support his family in the days and months ahead.
I had the privelege of meeting John in person on one occasion. Reflecting on that meeting today a poem by Mary Oliver came to mind which best captures how his journey insipired so many others to follow their own unique journey.
THE JOURNEY by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Visit my website at www.psyche.ie
I welcome your comments and questions to info@psyche.ie
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas
Ever feel like skating away from it all at this time of year? Joni Mitchell captures the sentiments of the season in this beautiful song. Here's a link to her singing it and the lyrics are below - River by Joni Mitchell
Enjoy... May you be well this Christmas and on into 2012.
River
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
Oh, I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
© 1970; Joni Mitchell
Enjoy... May you be well this Christmas and on into 2012.
River
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
Oh, I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
© 1970; Joni Mitchell
Monday, November 28, 2011
Silence
Silence... do you love it or hate it? Either way it's an interesting topic to consider since we are all certain to encounter it during our lives.
The dictionary definition of silence talks about the absence of sound; stillness; a time without speech or noise or a refusal or failure to speak out - so it seems there are many types of silence. We cannot assume that silence means stillness and peacefulness. Can you remember a time when you were annoyed but knew it was the right thing to do to be silent?
It seeems that many people choose against everyday opportunities for silence. Look around next time you take the bus and see how many people around you are plugged in to some kind of electronic gadget. Do you turn on the radio or tv or play music as a habit rather than when you want to listen to it. What is the effect of this on you?
The amsusing part of this level of distraction is that so many holiday destinations are marketed on the basis of their tranquil or peaceful locations, undisturbed beaches and so on. Yet we can have this traquility for free by switching off the noise around us. We can always switch it back on again, but in the meantime do you ever wonder what your experience of silence is really like?
I would be interested to know how you get on if you decide to experiment with this. Let me know and maybe we can develop your experiences in further articles. Contact me in confidence at info@psyche.ie or via the contact page on my website at www.psyche.ie
The dictionary definition of silence talks about the absence of sound; stillness; a time without speech or noise or a refusal or failure to speak out - so it seems there are many types of silence. We cannot assume that silence means stillness and peacefulness. Can you remember a time when you were annoyed but knew it was the right thing to do to be silent?
It seeems that many people choose against everyday opportunities for silence. Look around next time you take the bus and see how many people around you are plugged in to some kind of electronic gadget. Do you turn on the radio or tv or play music as a habit rather than when you want to listen to it. What is the effect of this on you?
The amsusing part of this level of distraction is that so many holiday destinations are marketed on the basis of their tranquil or peaceful locations, undisturbed beaches and so on. Yet we can have this traquility for free by switching off the noise around us. We can always switch it back on again, but in the meantime do you ever wonder what your experience of silence is really like?
I would be interested to know how you get on if you decide to experiment with this. Let me know and maybe we can develop your experiences in further articles. Contact me in confidence at info@psyche.ie or via the contact page on my website at www.psyche.ie
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Meditation
There are many approaches to meditation. One is not necessarily better or worse than another, it really seems to depend on what appeals to the person in question.
Having said that, I first came across meditation through my training as a yoga teacher in the late eighties, and have since been exposed to a variety of approaches to meditation mainly from an Eastern perspective.
What has struck me in recent years is an increasing number of comments from students of meditation wondering if there are any accessible Christian schools of meditation. Of the few I have come across, I am quite taken with what is known as 'Contemplative Prayer,'run by an organisation called Contemplative Outreach.
The histories of the Christian contemplative tradition, Centering Prayer, and Contemplative Outreach are intimately intertwined. Contemplative Outreach was formed to renew the Christian contemplative heritage through sharing the method of Centering Prayer to all who wish to learn.
If you are interested in experiencing this method mail me at info@psyche.ie.
I hope to hold an information talk for all who are interested before the end of the year in Castlepollard, Co. Westmeath. See my website www.psyche.ie which is about Offering Support in Challenging Times.
Having said that, I first came across meditation through my training as a yoga teacher in the late eighties, and have since been exposed to a variety of approaches to meditation mainly from an Eastern perspective.
What has struck me in recent years is an increasing number of comments from students of meditation wondering if there are any accessible Christian schools of meditation. Of the few I have come across, I am quite taken with what is known as 'Contemplative Prayer,'run by an organisation called Contemplative Outreach.
The histories of the Christian contemplative tradition, Centering Prayer, and Contemplative Outreach are intimately intertwined. Contemplative Outreach was formed to renew the Christian contemplative heritage through sharing the method of Centering Prayer to all who wish to learn.
If you are interested in experiencing this method mail me at info@psyche.ie.
I hope to hold an information talk for all who are interested before the end of the year in Castlepollard, Co. Westmeath. See my website www.psyche.ie which is about Offering Support in Challenging Times.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Remembering
Remembering is a topical theme today as the world remembers the great loss of life that took place in the United States of America ten years ago today, on the 11th September, 2001.
As the newspapers, radio, television and social media remember this great public loss of life, maybe we could also remember the many private losses that are all around us and also deserve to be remembered.
Remembering our losses - whether big or small,and retelling our stories helps us to come to terms with loss. By acknowledging our loss and coming to accept the reality of the particular loss we can begin the grieving process. There is no set grieving format. Everybody will do it differently. What seems to be consistent is the range of confused feelings people experience, the anger, the sadness, the many unanswered questions, the physical pain at the absence of your loved one.
Death is not the only cause of loss. Relationship / family breakdown can result in a series of losses in relationship where the person concerned is still alive, maybe now living with someone else, where children have to bear the loss of one or both parents in new relationships where they are no longer at the centre of the family unit.
Another group that have suffered great pain because they have largely been forgotten are those people who have spent their lives in mental institutions. Fortunately their stories have recently begun to be remembered by the recent 'Behind the Walls' documentary on RTE television. They certainly deserve to be remembered.
For some the loss of a pet is a great tragedy. Maybe that beloved pet was the only living creature who knew them intimately and responded to them on a regular basis.
Loss of health, of youth, of interest in life, of work, are some other examples and there are as many more. So as you remember today - maybe allow yourself to acknowledge the full range of losses you and those close to you have experienced. So together we can begin to allow ourselves to grieve and to heal.
It is just like a wound with a thorn in it. It hurts to pull out the thorn. It will likely bleed and seem worse at first. When really this initial hurt and pain is necessary for the wound to heal.
As we remember our different losses together - know you are not alone - many around the world are grieving their losses - this is healthy and natural - so maybe we can allow nature to do it's job and trust our innate wisdom.
Call me if you have any comments or questions on 353-86-8545407 or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie. For more check out my website at www.psyche.ie
As the newspapers, radio, television and social media remember this great public loss of life, maybe we could also remember the many private losses that are all around us and also deserve to be remembered.
Remembering our losses - whether big or small,and retelling our stories helps us to come to terms with loss. By acknowledging our loss and coming to accept the reality of the particular loss we can begin the grieving process. There is no set grieving format. Everybody will do it differently. What seems to be consistent is the range of confused feelings people experience, the anger, the sadness, the many unanswered questions, the physical pain at the absence of your loved one.
Death is not the only cause of loss. Relationship / family breakdown can result in a series of losses in relationship where the person concerned is still alive, maybe now living with someone else, where children have to bear the loss of one or both parents in new relationships where they are no longer at the centre of the family unit.
Another group that have suffered great pain because they have largely been forgotten are those people who have spent their lives in mental institutions. Fortunately their stories have recently begun to be remembered by the recent 'Behind the Walls' documentary on RTE television. They certainly deserve to be remembered.
For some the loss of a pet is a great tragedy. Maybe that beloved pet was the only living creature who knew them intimately and responded to them on a regular basis.
Loss of health, of youth, of interest in life, of work, are some other examples and there are as many more. So as you remember today - maybe allow yourself to acknowledge the full range of losses you and those close to you have experienced. So together we can begin to allow ourselves to grieve and to heal.
It is just like a wound with a thorn in it. It hurts to pull out the thorn. It will likely bleed and seem worse at first. When really this initial hurt and pain is necessary for the wound to heal.
As we remember our different losses together - know you are not alone - many around the world are grieving their losses - this is healthy and natural - so maybe we can allow nature to do it's job and trust our innate wisdom.
Call me if you have any comments or questions on 353-86-8545407 or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie. For more check out my website at www.psyche.ie
Monday, August 15, 2011
Holiday Time
Do you take holidays? If so what do they mean to you?
August is holiday time - this would appear to be an established fact nowadays - everywhere you ring these days the reply is to call back in September. But does everybody really take holidays? What do holidays really mean?
My limited impression of holidays is from an observers view of the comments people make about their holidays. Here are some of the most frequent ones:-
'Can't wait till the holidays - best two weeks of the year.'
'Can't afford holidays but am going to get a loan and go anyway.'
'Hate going back to work after my holidays.'
The dictionary defines a holiday as 'A day free from work that one may spend at leisure.' 'A religious feast day; a holy day.' It is interesting that the word 'holiday' comes from holy-day which, for those who went to religious schools in Ireland, meant a day off school.
Since we can no longer take Sunday for granted as a weekly 'holiday' or 'holy-day' maybe it is time to re-think our concept of 'holiday.' Whether holy or not, the idea of a day of rest or leisure per week sounds like a healthy one. There is a nice rhythm to it and results in a ratio of 6:1 or 16.6% leisure. By comparison two weeks holiday a year is a ratio of 365:14 or 3.83%. In contrast to just having every Sunday free this does not sound like a very good deal!
Numbers are great to make things crystal clear. We could say we have been misled by the massive focus on the annual summer holiday. So what can we do about it. My suggestion is to think first. 'Why?' You might rightly ask. Well if we take it in stages you will see.
Rest and leisure - yes we all need this. But first it is worthwhile to think and figure out how much rest do you need per week / month / year to unwind in a healthy way and return refreshed to resume your lifes work - regardless of whether you are employed or not.
It seems to be different for everyone - what is rest for one can be stressful for another. So there is no one 'holiday' that will suit everyone. Some enjoy having the chance to spend some leisure time at home, and this does not necessarily mean doing nothing. Many people get great satisfaction and enjoyment from gardening for example. Others may see this as hard labour.
These simple examples hopefully will get your thinking started with the overall aim to help you to discover what is restful and refreshing to you in particular. When you find this out the next step is to try it to see how you respond to your personalised 'holiday' prescription - does it work for you. If not, try out some of your other ideas till you find what suits you best.
When you do - what about making it a regular slot in your week - and aim for the old ratio of 6:1 to see if this is worthwhile for you. Whichever you choose I hope you enjoy your discovery.
I welcome your comments or quesitons in confidence to info@psyche.ie or call me on 353-86-8545407.
August is holiday time - this would appear to be an established fact nowadays - everywhere you ring these days the reply is to call back in September. But does everybody really take holidays? What do holidays really mean?
My limited impression of holidays is from an observers view of the comments people make about their holidays. Here are some of the most frequent ones:-
'Can't wait till the holidays - best two weeks of the year.'
'Can't afford holidays but am going to get a loan and go anyway.'
'Hate going back to work after my holidays.'
The dictionary defines a holiday as 'A day free from work that one may spend at leisure.' 'A religious feast day; a holy day.' It is interesting that the word 'holiday' comes from holy-day which, for those who went to religious schools in Ireland, meant a day off school.
Since we can no longer take Sunday for granted as a weekly 'holiday' or 'holy-day' maybe it is time to re-think our concept of 'holiday.' Whether holy or not, the idea of a day of rest or leisure per week sounds like a healthy one. There is a nice rhythm to it and results in a ratio of 6:1 or 16.6% leisure. By comparison two weeks holiday a year is a ratio of 365:14 or 3.83%. In contrast to just having every Sunday free this does not sound like a very good deal!
Numbers are great to make things crystal clear. We could say we have been misled by the massive focus on the annual summer holiday. So what can we do about it. My suggestion is to think first. 'Why?' You might rightly ask. Well if we take it in stages you will see.
Rest and leisure - yes we all need this. But first it is worthwhile to think and figure out how much rest do you need per week / month / year to unwind in a healthy way and return refreshed to resume your lifes work - regardless of whether you are employed or not.
It seems to be different for everyone - what is rest for one can be stressful for another. So there is no one 'holiday' that will suit everyone. Some enjoy having the chance to spend some leisure time at home, and this does not necessarily mean doing nothing. Many people get great satisfaction and enjoyment from gardening for example. Others may see this as hard labour.
These simple examples hopefully will get your thinking started with the overall aim to help you to discover what is restful and refreshing to you in particular. When you find this out the next step is to try it to see how you respond to your personalised 'holiday' prescription - does it work for you. If not, try out some of your other ideas till you find what suits you best.
When you do - what about making it a regular slot in your week - and aim for the old ratio of 6:1 to see if this is worthwhile for you. Whichever you choose I hope you enjoy your discovery.
I welcome your comments or quesitons in confidence to info@psyche.ie or call me on 353-86-8545407.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Psychotherapy and Mid-Life
Have you heard of the mid-life crisis? Maybe you have been told you are having one? Well what if that so called crisis was the most wonderful opportunity of your life?
The experience of what has become known as a mid-life crisis is often recognised by what can seem like a sudden dissatisfaction with life. This can be even more distressing for those who are successful in the material sense, they often say 'I have everything but feel like I have nothing!'
While we are familiar with stories about the effects of the menopause on women and the associated biological changes, the deeper questions and feelings of emptiness can often be dismissed as a hormonal imbalance. The challenging questions that arise in mid-life are not gender specific - they are simply part of the human condition. The question is 'how or where can we pause to deal with whatever is emerging?'
Carl Jung, the famous psychoanalyst, viewed the afternoon of life as an invitation to move from living on surface by diving deeper and addressing the unfulfilled life - where our socialised self causes us to become split from our true inner nature. 'Who am I if I am not my socialised self... ?' can be an interesting question that can open a pathway to our true depth.
Psychotherapy is an opportunity to explore these questions with the support of a skilled professional. The benefit of having a trained eye and ear to accompany you, is that they can provide a map of the unfamiliar territory you find yourself in. Unconscious material often becomes more active during a time of intense questioning and may leave you thinking there is something wrong with you - for example wild, weird, and wonderful dreams may start to happen. These can provide tremendous therapeutic opportunites with the right kind of support.
In summary, mid-life questions are natural and healthy. They deserve to be heard. Maybe the word menopause is giving us a hint? It is a time to take time, pause, and reflect.
You are welcome to contact me with any further questions you may have on 086 8545407, via my website www.psyche.ie, or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie
The experience of what has become known as a mid-life crisis is often recognised by what can seem like a sudden dissatisfaction with life. This can be even more distressing for those who are successful in the material sense, they often say 'I have everything but feel like I have nothing!'
While we are familiar with stories about the effects of the menopause on women and the associated biological changes, the deeper questions and feelings of emptiness can often be dismissed as a hormonal imbalance. The challenging questions that arise in mid-life are not gender specific - they are simply part of the human condition. The question is 'how or where can we pause to deal with whatever is emerging?'
Carl Jung, the famous psychoanalyst, viewed the afternoon of life as an invitation to move from living on surface by diving deeper and addressing the unfulfilled life - where our socialised self causes us to become split from our true inner nature. 'Who am I if I am not my socialised self... ?' can be an interesting question that can open a pathway to our true depth.
Psychotherapy is an opportunity to explore these questions with the support of a skilled professional. The benefit of having a trained eye and ear to accompany you, is that they can provide a map of the unfamiliar territory you find yourself in. Unconscious material often becomes more active during a time of intense questioning and may leave you thinking there is something wrong with you - for example wild, weird, and wonderful dreams may start to happen. These can provide tremendous therapeutic opportunites with the right kind of support.
In summary, mid-life questions are natural and healthy. They deserve to be heard. Maybe the word menopause is giving us a hint? It is a time to take time, pause, and reflect.
You are welcome to contact me with any further questions you may have on 086 8545407, via my website www.psyche.ie, or e-mail me in confidence to info@psyche.ie
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